My view of life:

Now, now how do I start this lightly.

Humans are animals just like every other animal. The only noticeable difference between us and the rest of the animals is our large brains. What do all animals have in common? They pursue selfish goals. Selfish goals to simply accomplish one concept. Surviving long enough to replicate and making sure that their genes pass on. Well, that’s the underlying biological reason for the selfish actions that human beings perform as a base of their everyday lives. We are selfish and cruel to everyone but our peers. We may not kill because we happened to have evolved to a stage where our brains recognise that coexisting with the rest of the human beings that we don’t really care about or like, is beneficial to our egotistical lives.

There’s nothing higher than me and my life is substantially of a greater worth than everyone else’s. That’s how everyone sees it. I serve no greater purpose to the universe. I exist because I exist and I had no choice in the matter. I am here because of random chance that out of billion of other probabilities resulted in me, as it resulted to you and as it resulted to every other person on the planet. Your life is sacred because I consider my life sacred too. But my life is more sacred than yours.

All that I am and all that I currently express exists just because I have a brain with an accumulation of nerves fired in the right order due to my so far experiences. What I am is lost once my brain is gone. There’s no magic in who I am, rather than a sequence of events that given a chance to occur again in a similar manner in a similar setting with similar people at the same time and temperature with the same genetic makeup and phenotype would result in the same me. It’s not magic it’s just a mathematical probability that’s unlikely but not completely improbable to occur again. The answer is close to zero but not exactly zero.

I am unique though because of that great improbability and as such I act as though I am the only one of my species. I am the only one that can understand me and sometimes can’t. Like you are the only one that really knows what’s happening inside your head.

The world exists only because I exist. It would be stupid of me to say that the world will not continue if I disappeared tomorrow, because it would. But for me that would be of no worth or meaning.

I am not sure everyone listens to the same sound or sees the same colours when they are reproduced inside the brain, because there should certainly be variations of it. But we can’t objectively discover what those differences are or ever find out.

What’s the mystery of life?

The only mystery for me is how intelligent people can’t see the purposelessness of it all and the uselessness of their actions. It is hard for me to understand how I can still grasp concepts of love and experience feelings that have no logic to back them up. I find it weird that I want to have a family when deep down I know that who I am is going to be lost forever and even though logically I am all that should matter for me, for my world, I have a tendency to seek human attention, affection and have goals oriented towards achieving that attention and affection as well as pursue having a family one day. I actually find it a hard reality to live in now. I feel that too many people are intelligent enough and smart enough to see that in the long term nothing really matters. People like that are predestined to sadness and sorrow in their lives just because they can see more than we as animals should be capable of seeing at this point in time.

The real mystery of life is why do people keep on living and waking up the next day when they know what their end result would be. Why do people care what happens in their reality as that reality along with the entire existence of the world is going to go after them.

As an ape I know why I need to reproduce and start a family and protect that family. As a conscious human being I see it as useless. It’s all temporary, it’s all sad and fragile. Just like we are. Incomplete, incompetent to fix ourselves and bound by a faith that was not of our choosing. That’s why we fight so hard to have control when we never really have control.

And I find it so hard to find magic in all this. You know some spice to make this life taste better or smell better.

I guess the only magic lies in the contradiction. Life or no life? Feel or think? Try to fix it or just let it be?

But in the end. I guess it doesn’t really matter where the magic hides, does it?

 

I stepped on shit. But why did I?

Well to answer the question simply…  Because I wasn’t looking at where I was walking. To be more precise I wasn’t looking to where I was stepping at that given time, the time therefore when I stepped on shit. To be even more precise. But why wasn’t I looking at the time? Because I was doing other things at the time. What other things? Well I was sending a txt message to my friend. Why were you sending a txt message to your friend? Because I wanted to explain to him that I wasn’t going to go out with him tonight. Why couldn’t you go out with him tonight? Because I had to study my immunology. Let’s stop the questions here because it is infinite. I want to show you that by following this trail of thought and you get bored by asking questions to about this point you can come into the following conclusion: I stepped on shit because I had to study immunology in a future time. 

I gave that rediculous example because I wanted to show to people that as humans beings we have the pathological need to explain things. We always ask ourselves why did that happen, why is this thing like this and not like that? Why? There is a good reason on why we are doing this (Yes I know it’s sad that I have to explain why we feel the need to explain things). We are all doing this because it keeps as safe. The cause and effect of anything, if we manage to decode it down to form rules in our brains give as an advantage over people that don’t have those rules in their head. In more simple terms. It has been evolutionary conserved for the majority of human beings to ask themselves the question why. To ponder about things and find answers that they consider satisfying in order to put rules and laws that life follows. Life in this example includes the physical world. These rules may sometimes exist the physical world and extend to the paranormal world ie imaginary principles with no base in natural values that extend into having effect on the physical world. What this means is that when the human mind cannot discover rules, it creates rules that have no base or may have some base in reason and common sense, so that it can explain by the mere imaginative creation or by mere coincidence certain physical phenomena. 

There are countless examples of this phenomenon. Zeus the god of thunder, rain dances, virgin sacrifices to stop the volcano from exploiting, touching wood for bad things not to occur. We all have a thing/habit that we do that has no basis in common sense that we simply do in order to avoid or have a physical phenomenon occur in a predictable/likeable manner. Our own personal OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).  You see for our brain something doesn’t always have to make sense in order for it to be associated. It’s a fale safe mechanism. It’s better to be safe therefore than sorry. It’s not logical, it’s based in the fear of the unknown/death as is everything if you take it down to the deepest level. 

What I want to do though is not explain why we are doing this, but to explain a different concept. One concept that most people fail to see in science. Just because as human beings we want to see reason in everything, it doesn’t mean there is always a reason for things that happen. Just because there is always a goal in our interactions with people and all our actions are governed by our futuristic aims, it doesn’t mean that nature, the universe or even the events happening all around us work like that. I heard from a guy at the university that when he looks at a problem from a physiological prospective, ie when he is looking for the function of anything in the body he is looking at it from the point of view, of why would god place it there. What reason did he have to put it there. What function would it serve in order for it to be there. You see what people and most people fail to see is that most things happen by accident. MOST things happen by accident. Only goal seeking animals make things happen. You need to realise that there is no goal set for our genes. Things happen because they do. Our eyes did not develop for us to see. Our eyes simply developed because it was beneficial for the body to have it.

What do I mean by that… Let’s imagine that I am god for example, I am not skipping evolution I am just doing it hell fast. Back to the example, I am god. I see animals that eat each other up with no eyes. Suddenly I throw 1 pair of eyes on one guy. I let the guy PROSPER and have childer and let his childer inherit the eyes until all of his species now has eyes and feeds on the other species. I feel sorry for the other species and I do the same for them. Now both of the species has eyes and the weakest species starts to develop tactics to avoid dying. For the hell of it let’s just say that it happens to be faster then it will run once it spots the other species. So the fastest of the hunter species will survive giving rise to faster children and the faster of the hunted species survives to give rise to even faster children. Yes it looks like a race. It looks like they are purposely creating faster animals.

Look again that’s not what’s happening. By accident something suddenly had a function. Let’s say I have a limited number of resources to spend and I do so by just blindly buying stuff and I get thrown into an island with those stuff, if by accidently taking a gun with me I’d survive, if I didn’t I won’t. If this is happening for billions of years this means that life suddenly appears as if it has a cause as you don’t experience the effect of failures of lost dead descendants. You only experience the successes.. This means that it appears as things have a cause. It appears as limbs have a role a function and a reason for being there. No. LIMBS came by accident and they evolved into having a function and a reason for existence when you look at it from the human prospective. Everything came to be by accident and everything obeyed the laws of natural selection which is just a biological law for a larger scale organic reaction. 

It doesn’t just stop there. We shouldn’t let as human beings our pathological need to try and give a reason into everything that’s happening. This is bad for our understanding and it’s really bad for science I think. What we should do and I think this is what modern science is doing. Is take what we have and explore what is happening and not try to explain or give a reason on why it’s happening rather than simply accept it as a fact. Just like physicists who create laws of the universe, they don’t try to give a reason on why the universe is as it is. They simply try to find the rules of it. Ie find the equations that fit however illogical with our understanding of the modern medium sized world. What you want to do is just find what it is that fits and works. Divise theories that explain the physical phenomena with no greater purpose or plan for them.

 

Laters.

Assisted suicide, is it wrong?

Before I start I’d like to say that I am studying medicine and that I have an exam tomorrow but when I stambled on this http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bPS3pZGthw0 on youtube I couldn’t help it I had to produce something and put in my blog. 

Note: I am not going to give an unbiased view, I am sorry. I don’t have time and I don’t want to put an unbiased view on this. I will put my own opinion on the matter.

I believe that humans are creatures of free will. Certain individuals have a stronger sense of that free will. But in essence all people are free to do as they please as long as their freedom of will doesn’t harm the freedom of others. We all have free will but, in a democratic government we are free to express that will and we all do so every day by expressing our opinion, wearing t-shirts with logos, posting on websites, writing our own blog etc etc. There is also another concept that we all have. Our body belongs to us and we all have autonomy over our body. Autonomy which allows us to refuse medical treatment in the UK if we don’t want to get treated. As I said before, I am doing medicine and the central idea of medicine is to never do harm, and in biological terms the Doctors there are causing harm by assisting the patient to die. 

In the UK euthanasia is illegal. But it is legal for other animals if they are suffering with an incurable disease that is going to cause them pain and suffering. Euthanasia in that respect is considered the humane thing to do. And in all honesty it is the humane thing to do. You are letting your animal die pain free without even realising it is dying which for many people (most people wish that they would die in their sleep so that they would feel no fear about it) is the best way to go. In all respects though, euthanasia of a dog is worse ethically than euthanasia of a human being. The dog cannot grasp the idea of death, and it cannot understand the pain is going to get through and in a paternalistic way, we humans make the decision for it. Maybe if the dog had a voice and could comprehend thoughts such as these, it would choose otherwise, but since it’s an animal we consider it better (I know many people don’t, but I do) to make the decision for the dog and help it die. For a human being that decision comes after complex thinking. That decision for the person deciding to die is a long process full of fear, full of anger, full of of feelings of injustice but from what I get as the centre there assesses their psychological state never a feeling of depression so that they are consciously making the decision for themselves. So for a human being it is actually suicide just pain free. And the assisted part is in actually providing the barbiturate which depresses breathing and senses so you are basically dying a very pleasant death, in which by comparison to the death he was going to experience it would have been terrible.

But it’s not just down to that. If you knew you were going to die and you had a time frame for your death, wouldn’t you want your death to be in your own terms? In a setting that you choose, with people that you love and die without experiensing all the horror that is laid in-front of you? 

I will repeat it. In medicine we are told to never do harm. But we are told to respect a patients autonomy. We as human beings know that we need to respect each other’s freedom. We know that we have to respect the opinion of others, even though we don’t always do. But I don’t think that in this case medicine in doing harm. Medicine is helping someone have a pleasant and comfortable death. I know that doctors have a legal obligation to extend someone’s life as long as they can, but it’s their decision. If they could they would do it themselves. I feel that the doctors in that place are doing what every doctors should be allowed to do, when asked. It’s the right thing and it really is helping your patient. And since it’s their decision I feel that there is nothing wrong with it.

Also I feel that there is NO place for Religion on this matter. Medicine is based on science and there is no room for religion. Religion is solely allowed to play a role in the patients mind and if a doctor feels uncomfortable with it they should actually refer people to someone else. In this case it’s not a case where you need to report it. The decision is conscious, the patient knows what he wants and he knows what he is doing. And quite frankly just like a religious person, Craig Ewert even though an atheist, died holding just like any religous person his beliefs strongly in his death bed.

 

-Andreas

Story of my Life

Deviating from the USUAL stuff, I am just pasting something that popped into my head while I was bored sitting infront of my laptop.

It’s not cool or nice but hey, who cares?

[ To know of what you want
is a gift
To be who you dream to be
has got to be a sin ]

I see with eyes that are hopefully still young
and i think with a mind that feels older every day
I seem to lose tract of what is important
and what is not
I seem to get interested in things that are challenging enough
but never make me feel a part of a great world
I see life lacking something
I see me lacking a cause
I see the people around me with no-where to go
but back from where they came from.

It’s sad to think like this
It’s sad to think of days that I think like this
but every now and then
when it’s dark
I feel the scar in my heart
Only felt in days such as today
when you realise
when the older mind kicks in
that your days have increasingly been like this
that you always see the world
POINTLESS
Evil
wrong
and more than everything
you forget
you forget how it felt
when you felt nothing else but happiness
and you looked at the world as full of chance
full of oppportunities
full of charm

and here you are
in a world full of people
people stripped of all their glory
of all their dreams
of their need to live
and what do you do?
you assume the role that you pittied
you get happiness by feeling powerful
over lost souls
feeling closer to who you could be
by being who you never wanted to be
and here you are
the soul that’s lost more times than all.

How much should I really care?

I couldn’t sleep tonight and then I remembered that I have registered a blog. So I said what the hell why not spend some time writing down what I think. I’ve noticed for a long time now that people change and edit their lives according to social norms. I’ve seen people being more social accepting, being fakely friendly, being bitchy when they are really not, being disgised behind high social status, asking me to edit things that I post in order not to give people any ideas. I mean I see so many people around me every day and it seems to me as those people don’t really care what anyone thinks… they do look like they don’t care. But it seems that everyone cares. Everyone cares what he projects to the outside world to see. It’s stupid, I’ve never understood why people act like that. I guess it could be dirived from the evolutionary thrive to keep people in your surroundings happy with what you do, to look non threatening and in balance with what people normally do… but that is no excuse. I sincerely believe that most of our thoughts and our feelings are governed by evolutionary, animalistic drives but I feel disgusted when we can’t be mind over matter and try to live what we want to live and try to be what we want to be.

People are okay being stupid in the train where no1 knows them. They are okay being stupid with people that can be stupid with…  But when there are people you know but you don’t really know, social-relatives if you prefer, people suddenly go -> norm. Mind boggling isn’t it? No? Well are you one of those people? Yes you are… What you think you are not? You think you can go crazy? I look around and I see NOTHING. No-one’s himself, no-one’s real. It’s depressing really. What are you people afraid of?

“What if they see something they don’t like?”

Well when I meet people I feel like I am meeting  nobody. I never remember names, all they are is faces that my mind recalls for future reference. People that are pretentious. No character, nothing. Who cares if I say soomething they don’t like? I mean to think of it, if they don’t like it and they feel offended by it … good it was meant to be so… OR it’s good then we wouldn’t really be good together.

Never be less than what you really are and never be less than who you really are.

There are people worth caring about, and all of us know who those people are. Their opinion matters to the extend of maybe what would look good on you or the opinion on your new haircut. On matters of how to live your life nobody’s opinion matters. NOBODY’s. What if people think you are a creep? Who cares? You know different, yoru friends know different.

It’s your world. Exist on it as you want. World being the surroundings and everytihng that your mind projects as your outside environment and people and is yours as your reality is yours.

l8rz.

What is the purpose? Why really there is no point.

This is what I hear from most people nowadays. That I am a cynic, a very negative individual who gives no hope in anything, that I see no positive outcome from life. I’ve come to realise why people might be thinking that I am that. But before I go on expressing all my cynicisms and all my ideas, I’d like to explain that I was wondering about questions of purpose, of why I am here, of what happens after I die, of why do I exist now? I guess I did this not due to having too much time available but due to over-thinking and due to my questioning nature.

The universe therefore from my point of view, which is the more truthful point of view, is a purposeless place. The universe from the point of view of the universe it just happened, just like a drop of rain fell on my glasses this morning. It happened just like that with a specific simple beginning but it owes to me and to you no explanation why it happened. It most probably has no explanation of why it happened other than the physics behind it. The idea that I will find an explanation in the existence of the universe that it will give my life any sort of purpose just doesn’t stand. Because the universe is not me, the universe doesn’t care about me. At the level of the universe you don’t exist, from our point of view you are like an mere quark if not something less than that, that its existence or not doesn’t change me. so my existence or not doesn’t change and will not change the universe.

Moving on to a smaller scale let’s say our planet. Earth, our lovely mother Earth. Earth that provides the nutrients from which we built ourselves and our lives. Earth that provides the habitat and the place of where we base our existence. At this point I’d like to say that most of us are born and abuse the planet if not all of us. Earth provides us life and we are born and use the planet as if the planet owes us and not as if we owe the planet. We are born so stuck in our own realm that we do not even appreciate the only real purpose that we have the biological one. My death or my life doesn’t change the world. Equally like the universe the world doesn’t care about me. Earth doesn’t care about my existence, it will continue to exist without me.

Moving down to the people, to the world’s civilization. The 6 billion people that live on this planet. Equally these people don’t care about me in the same way that I don’t care about them. My death or my life, like their death will bring no change in my life. And if it does bring a change let’s say that the death of a person was the death of my friend, that change will end by me dying.

You see what people can’t see is that the world is not meant for them. All of us do think that the world is not meant for us, we understand that other people live around us and we accept their needs. But their needs we only accept so that they can accept our needs and so that we can live without problems. People can’t see that my life, is a mere product of chemical interactions of many compounds, atoms, molecules, that in turn didn’t come together by any purpose. Someone studying us from above can also make equations about our movements and predict our actions and classify us.

Being alive makes sense now that we are actually alive. Being alive didn’t make sense before our atoms came together and made us and it would certainly make no sense after we die. At a larger level we have no purpose. The question of what is our purpose and why we are here doesn’t have an answer. It doesn’t need an answer at a philosophical level to explain and give a purpose other than the predetermined purpose that is given to us by nature, ie to reciprocate and produce tiny replicates or half replicates if u prefer, of ourselves. My life really doesn’t have any meaning. Being afraid of dying really doesn’t have any point. My sense of self that lives inside my brain, by millions and millions of nervous pathways and synapses between them, will disappear no matter what when I die. My conscience will be eliminated and put away as if it never existed. And it will make no difference if it existed or not. We are so self centred that we can’t see that it’s pointless to care about living or dying in that level.

My death will not bring many people joy, hopefully but it won’t bring many people grief either. And after all it will be gone too along with every memory of ever existing. There ways to bypass this truth by believing in gods in afterlives, in monsters, in ghosts, in reincarnations. All of these are products of our fears, fears coming from our raised conscience and our appreciation of what the future holds for us.

But people tell you that you can enjoy the journey. The journey that will bring you joy. Well in reality the journey will bring you more sadness than joy. And you’ll remember more the sad times than the happy that will be a nice break from reality. As you’ll grow older you will find yourself continually more isolated. You will find yourself continually with less and less friends, especially real friends. You will find yourself with less people that directly love or have loved you as they will pass away. You will see everything that or almost everything that you built around your collapse, in terms of life, goals, people, your fake idea of purpose and you will eventually face your own mortality. The whole idea that the journey will be nice is a trick for people to live your life. A trick for people to do what they are supposed to do. Because let’s face it, life isn’t nice. Life has no purpose. Life is meaningless. Life is just something that happened. God doesn’t exist. There is no ultimate goal. There’s no immortal soul. There’s nothing that can make the burden of facing this life’s reality any easier.

But you see being human as we are we can trick our nature. Being human as we are doesn’t mean we can’t try to enjoy it. I don’t understand why, for someone that believes that there is no purpose in life, why I enjoy helping. You see I might deep down believe that my insignificance might become more of a significance in other people’s lives, even though those are themselves insignificant. You see for me I understand that the darkest hours is where any significance is accounted for. The darkest hours of other people, is the only way that I can see myself having any form of place. You see for me that gives me satisfaction, which is what it’s all about. Satisfaction not in the cheap sense of playing with my brain’s chemistry but in the sense of my brain rewarding me, through my conscience. You see for life to be enjoyable it doesn’t need a purpose. For life to be enjoyable it doesn’t need a cause. And for life to be enjoyable in the long term it doesn’t need you to worry about it. Because if there’s one certainty is the uncertainty of your existence and as human beings we enjoy certainty. So it doesn’t mean that if life is going to be evil with you, that if there is nothing to go after this, if when you die nothing really happens, if you are an approximated value of zero. Because like many zeros before you, you were born despite the probabilities against it and you exist and enjoy this level of self conscience.

Self exploration

House – “Right I’ll tell her that everything went on without her. Babies were born, people got married, thousands of people will remember the day that she got raped as the happiest day of their lives.”

“We are selfish base animals crawling across the earth. But because we have brains, if we try real hard, we can occasionally aspire to something that is less than pure evil.”

That’s the idea of life. That’s the idea of what we really are. Selfish uncaring animals that cannot foresee or understand the concept of life. We are animals that see everything from our own point of view, we live happiness in our own head, we understand people’s feelings by faking feelings or trying to look back and compare with our own experiences. You see everything in this world is selfish and there is nothing that can change it. We live our life trying very hard, or many of us at least, to acquire wisdom, power, money, something to make us happy, something to make us better than all the rest.

Normalcy doesn’t include happiness. It’s not in the schedule. You always have to look from someone else’s point of view. You’ll never be happy if you only had the minimum and you’d never be happy if you didn’t have something that other people don’t have. It seems to be that our happiness comes from our narcissistic nature that the whole world is about us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE5M8743a1s

in this video you hear wisdom and you see life as it really is. You see life from a different prospective, a prospective that’s real, biased that it is, still real. Because let’s face it the way that I see life is different than the way anyone else sees or experiences life. The main similarity though is that every single one of us sees life from their own prospective. That being so means that everyone has a different world in mind and a different reality that he/she understands. That in turn means that we as animals crawl about in the world looking for different things, but still looking for one thing. That one thing is what our forefathers were looking for, what our grandparents were looking for when they donated half of their genes to bring about our father and mother and the same concept applies to our parents and possibly for us. That one thing is called happiness and the whole journey towards that happiness is our pursuit of it.

Yet again as selfish as we might be. We do aspire goodness. We have a conscience, well not big businessmen , but at least most of us do. With that goodness/conscience that we have we do good deeds to our fellow human beings. But is that idea of doing good deeds not actually being selfish?

Big businessmen give millions of pounds to charity and yet, do so to have their name heard and get away with some taxes. Do you think that people just do these deeds because they do not gain anything from it? For example: Let’s say that A goes and donates $100,000 to a big charity organization so that B child in Africa lives a better life. Does that A man do that in order to simply help B? In most of the cases people who do this, do so to have their name heard as a big humanitarian, in the same way that big movie stars do so. If they don’t have their name heard they might be doing it to avoid taxation on that money because charity money are not taxed. The most sincere reason that someone might do this, reason be that he just wants to help the children in need, is that that action does make him/her feel better. Whatever we do, however we live our life at the end of the day that action does come back to us and does change our life a little bit. That be it we drive our world and our actions narcissistically with one man in the centre of the entire picture and that man is our self.

Another concept of our life other than selfishness is the fact that we are all evil. Evil in the sense that we are not good people in the way we think of good people to be. Our thoughts aren’t pure and certainly our actions do not reflect our thoughts, because if they completely reflected our thoughts and ideas, the world would be a bloodier, uglier, unhappier place to live in.

Why is this so though? Well we are animals. That’s an idea that most people forget. Just because we destroyed the natural habitat of thousands of species to change the world towards our likings, destroying the environment in the mean time, that doesn’t exclude us from the rest of the kingdom Animalia. We live every day of our lives thinking that we are better that the world belongs to us excluding ourselves from the natural order of things. Most of the times we live our lives without thinking or understand that our life could very likely end in any second. We made everything so human centered that we forgot where our evil actions come from.

We have distant ourselves from our past in so many ways: Be it religion, be it politics, be it living in houses, be it killing off any other threads to our existence, that we are now arrogant and think that we are different from all nature. We think that our actions should be pure and nice and depress ourselves into thinking that we should be acting as such and not feeling as such.

You know why humanity was never in peace with our feelings? It’s due to the very simple reason that our feelings do not work well with our big cerebral cortex. It’s true that we have reached a point in our evolution that our cerebral cortex is in opposition with our emotions. The emotions are things that were formed from our evolution that could point you into things that you really wanted to do or had to do. Feelings as such are sexual lust, love, anger, survival instincts. All these things exist in our brain at least but most of us live a life without expressing any or at least most of the above, and live with them suppressed in our heads.

This suppression of our natural instincts leads to many side effects. One of which is depression. Feeling of not being complete, not being happy, to constantly look for something and never finding it, no matter how our life turns out. Distancing ourselves from nature and putting a mask to cover our feelings and our desires has a significant affect in our happiness and in our actions. For example suppressing fear results in anxiety many times, depression, suicidal attempts and many times bursts of anger where the anger is at a level that cannot be controlled, at a level many times that is significantly larger than it would have been if we would have released our anger at the first place. The difference is that now we have more opportunities to be angry about and less opportunities to relax.

So if you consider that we are selfish by nature, have suppressed animal instincts it is very reasonable that most of us will have issues of some sort. Issues that won’t be resolved and they would show up. The weird thing is that these issues are beginning to emerge all the time and are constantly in the news. Teenagers raging and killing children in schools, rapes, jails are being filled with people, crime, increasing occurrence of depression which is predicted to be the number ONE disease in the future. We are not in harmony with what humans should be. We are not in harmony with our nature, we are not smart enough yet to effectively suppress all of our instincts without first having some side effects.

We have created and live in a society which doesn’t care about us because it’s selfish and greedy, that can’t love because it’s suppressed, who doesn’t have time for us and we don’t have time for ourselves, and we have pushed ourselves away from nature and anything that could possibly relax us. It’s no wonder we are unhappy. It’s no wonder we snap all the time. It’s no wonder that we see everything differently, that everything is wrong for us. This is not an excuse though for what we are. This is not an excuse for what we have become as a species.

We have the ability to understand the world. To understand and predict patters of phenomena we can’t even see. Yet we have paid little attention to ourselves. We have paid little attention in understanding the human being as we are and not just from the natural-biochemical-anatomical prospective but also from the natural psychological prospective that arises due to our evolutionary past. Psychologists deal with those things but they, as me generalise everything. They like me put everything in categories and try to explain everything with models. I am being taught some psychology in my medical course and I do not like the way that psychology works and as such I think there is more room for personal philosophy and personal exploration in understanding the personal needs of the individual rather than for the individual to look for advice from other people who frankly do not really care about what you have to say.

Ignorance is a bliss. We used to be ignorant about the world around, about how everything works, about how we were ‘manufactured’ , but now we are ignorant about us. We do not have the time for personal thinking and self exploration and do not have the contact with the environment that people used to have. So since the change can’t come from the outside it should come from within. And from within includes acceptance of what we are. Selfish base animals crawling across the earth that have to try real hard to aspire to something that is less than pure evil.

Divisive from our nature, but at least not stupid

 

I shall start this piece by explaining that I am too among the people who do not have the intellectual capability to resist watching tv most of the time. But I do not watch tv for news or any other sort of information. That information I receive from the internet where I prefer a different and a non-censored point of view to their argument. I am one of the people who is subjected to all sorts of discrimination, not because of the colour of my skin as so many other people, or for my height although some people might choose to pick on that if they want to but nonetheless I am merely average, or for any other sort of physical appearance deficit that they might pick up on. On the contrary I am a person who gets picked on about his views about life, about my views about people, women, men, children, maturity anything that can pass your mind. I choose to be different mainly because I think the majority is usually wrong and usually lead into believing false claims, so I usually pick to support views that are not supported by the majority of people. I do want to add that it does add a bit in my sense of ego, to feel a bit unique although lonely at times.

I want to start this by trying to make you remember how do you see people on the street when you walk past them. Do you see a black person as a black person, a white person as a white person, a woman as a woman, an old lady as an old lady, a child as a child, an annoying child as the annoying child? Do you remember their face? It’s a human mechanism, an evolutionary mechanism if you would like to classify people. Old lady goes in the group with the old ladies maybe one or two in the group of the annoying ladies or the super annoying ladies and so forth. People classify people according to their differences. It’s a discrimination tactic that exists till this day due to our evolutionary past. Now there is nothing wrong with where evolution has brought us but we have reached a point where our intellectual capacity must overrule the evolutionary past, since it’s this past that people use against us Homo sapiens in order to guide our mind and thoughts. What I was trying to say before is that, we classify people according to their differences and not according to their similarities because if you were going to classify people according to their similarities they would all be one big group of people. Because that’s what we are people. This classification into groups (discrimination) is something that can be taken advantage off when rulers of the world need us to be divisive.

For example after 9/11 the war against terrorism began which reminds of a religious war which happened in the past. It must have been noticeable in the streets that people look at Muslims, or people with long beards etc with suspicion. You see for the people, terrorists are personified as Muslims and in our minds Muslims are tanned, beardy, Arabic speaking, scary people. That’s the sort of picture we get and that picture creates this fear, that’s why I mentioned scary before, of that particular group. Now this effect can be taken advantage off when you need public support in starting something. Because when you start something there is no real need for public support as you have to carry it through. This is where I am coming at. The effect of the discriminating mind that we have, is making it easier for mass media and the government to control our thoughts in a much more efficient way than it was able to do in the past. It’s another kind of fear that people face, it’s not the kind of fear that people used to face in Communist Russia, which was fear for their lives, it’s fear of the unknown. Now that news can so efficiently be broadcasted and so easily staged, opinions can be shifted from one thing to the next in a matter of seconds.

This fear of the unknown, this fear of a certain group, comes in many forms. You see a picture is a thousand words. And when you have picture plus a thousand words to support what you want, propaganda cannot be stopped. This form of propaganda is so effective that is can be considered as the public’s own view point, as it is not enforced and is not obviously imposed to them. People can hardly pick it up. So how does this work? Well you have your head bombarded with pictures of horror of what those people can do to you for example pictures from 9/11 attacks. You have pictures of what they look like, not particularly nice pictures of them usually scary pictures of men with guns. You also have pictures of the state of life they have and then you fear for your life. You don’t want to be poor, you don’t want to live like them. Your life is not good but at least is not as bad as them, so you accept a few of your rights to be suspended. A few of your fellow citizens to be thrown in battle to protect you and you also accept all the extra stress that this fear brings to your life increasing your risks for many stress related diseases of which there are many.

Of course you can say we are intelligent people. We can understand when we are being lied to and we can understand when we are being played. Can you? Is truth something that as a species we are good at? We do not like truth, in fact our government knows that we do not like truth, and they know that instead of having truth we prefer to sit quietly at home, caring for our family, raising them to be able to live in a corrupted society, teach our children to accept lies, we even raise our children in a seemingly loving and stable home with no underlying problems. We choose lies over truth every day. We even choose lies over truth when we know that we are being lied to. Lies make us comfortable and lies are the root of everything. Because even though we might pick up when we are being lied to. We might be intelligent people, we might want to hear the truth but when we do, we can’t deal with it and we instantly switch off and accept the lies. The lies that will keep my children safe at home, the lies that will not make me fight for my rights, the lies that will not allow me feel as sad as I could when I hear the truth.

We are a sorry lot indeed. When we need a promise of an afterlife of meaning to be able to go on living this pitiful life, when we wake up in a home with no love just to pretend in front of our children that we are happy so that they can live the perfect lie, when we wake up knowing that I am not free to do what we want to and yet do nothing about it, when we deny truths about our past because it doesn’t make us happy then I can’t feel anything other than sadness for what we have become.

I read today that it’s a feeling that all the young people have. The feeling of wanting to change everything, the feeling of wanting to be a rebel, to overthrow everything that’s wrong in this world is young. It’s a feeling that you only hold for a number of years and then it dies out as you slowly realise that there is nothing in the world that you can do to change what already is there. There is nothing you can do to change the people who rule the world, there is nothing you can do to change your faith. You just slowly sit down and accept it. I don’t know if that is true because indeed I am still young and I am very immature in the most obvious ways. But I do not want to grow up knowing that I lived even my youth being a cabbage. An unintelligent individual who saw the world exactly how it was served to him and never fought to change it. I feel sick in my stomach most of the times about rules and decisions that people have, or by the simple sight of people where I study who instantly divide themselves into groups that share more similarities than they share differences. I don’t want to be just one of those people who do not accept people for what they are and see people for what they are not.

You see the root of everything as I said lies in the very basic concept in our brain which divides everything up. You’ll find it scarier that you have more things in common with people you think you have nothing in common with than what you think. It is not racism I am talking about here. It’s something else. I am talking about the controversy that although we are supposed to be one as society under one rule, and we as individuals do not impose our rights on others, we do very little to merge in and try to understand each other.

Stop discriminating.

Start living.

Do not believe, do not accept anything without evidence.

Wouldn’t you rather be stuck with the truth rather than with the lies that just make your life seemingly beautiful?

Fight for truth.

Loneliness in all of us.

I’ve always wondered why people just feel alone.

I’ve always wondered why people never feel complete, and if they do it only lasts for a very short amount of time.

It’s true that most people either feel depressed or lonely or lost or feel that they have no purpose and of course there is always a combination of those. Everyone looks for that something that will give meaning to this life. Everyone looks for meaning to purpose for meaning to the suffering that you have to go through. Not just physical suffering. The suffering that mostly hurts people is mental suffering. The suffering therefore that arises from the fact that we spent so much time on this planet and we have this constant feeling that we are either alone, that is all for nothing, that it’s just not worth it, that people do not understand you. It’s all true, you are not alone, most people experience such feelings and most people have found no way to get rid of those feelings.

If you listen to people that say that they’ve found the way to not be alone, or that they’ve found purpose just let the excitement of having something new to spent their time with to settle and you will see that they will soon too, turn their eyes and look for something else. It’s nothing to be ashamed off, it’s just who we are. We are never happy, we can never be happy. We are who we are and even if you find the perfect person for you who understands you completely and makes you feel as if there is some sort of connection with other people in this life, after some time you will still feel alone.

Happiness doesn’t last more, sadness is forever. Not sadness, sadness is not a right word to describe the feeling of being alive, it’s more like melancholy. It’s amazing how feelings like these and thoughts of you being alone or having no purpose can change how you feel and ruin your entire mood. It’s amazing how although you are surrounded by people, you can never go and make the first move to find that person you want to find and stop being alone. It’s as if you love this feeling, it’s as if you just don’t think it’s worth the trouble that you might go through to get rid of this feeling, it’s as if you just feel basically other people aren’t worth it.

It’s true that in today’s society you look at people and you see nothing. You listen to people’s opinions and you hear nothing. It’s as if although we are all unique we lack individuality. It’s as though we are all different we are all the same. We generalise, we put people in groups, we avoid people, we get hurt by people, we hurt other people because everything is about us. And if you think about it everything is about us as everything we see comes from our own eyes.

This might be a philosophical argument but think about it. You have a long relationship with someone and they are gone either they die or they leave you. For you their existence never goes away it only fades or stays in the background, because our memory can also be a curse. Other than you or the other people who knew that person, there is nothing to say that that person ever existed. In your world that person was real and special, in my neighbours world that person never existed. If I can find a way to remove that memory from my head, that person never existed and was never real. So yes this is my world. I view everything from my own eyes and I doubt other people see things the way I do.

I feel unique in the way that the experiences that I have stored in my head are not shared and not known by anyone. I feel unique in that such memories are the only thing that keeps people that I lost in my life real. I feel unique that my world is shaped in such a way that no other person’s world is shaped. Although I feel like that, when I look at others through my own eyes, I see people who are the same, exactly the same, in character and in clothes and shape. I victimise them by generalising and putting them in groups and although I do that I feel like I am being equally victimised.

If my thoughts are the world, then the only proof of my existence are others thoughts. The only way I can exist other than myself is through others thoughts. This truth makes me feel as if nothing is worth the trouble. There’s nothing else worth doing than being remembered. I understand why people want to be famous, I understand why people want to rule, I understand why people want to murder, why people want to martyr themselves. If there is any way that they can live on, in a book, in people’s thoughts, in fake idea of another life then they are willing to take it. It might just be our way to fight our constant feeling of loneliness that’s driving us to such actions. It might just be that we only see ourselves in our own eyes and fear that once those eyes disappear then the very idea of me is gone too. I do think it’s a sad coincidence that we are born to be humans. I do think that it’s sad that in order to be born with the ability to understand and rule the world we have to give up the ability of being ignorant of our existence and our life. It’s sad that since we are humans we can’t enjoy life as it comes and have to seek other’s people’s acceptance and compassion.

I live my life by not caring what other people think. I live my life by being hurtfully truthful to me and to the others around me. I live my life by being a cynic and expecting all of the negative things that can happen to happen. I live my life as such completely the opposite of what I used because I think I have reached that point of maturity where you can see the world as it is. I believe there is something worse than looking in the mirror and seeing yourself and not liking what you see, there is always the looking yourself in the mirror and regretting what you are.

As it’s inevitable that myself and the idea of myself will fade at some point after my death, hopefully not before. I see that being who I am is the only way to live how I want to live. The inevitable consequence of being yourself is not being accepted though, or be accepted and not like being accepted. So the inevitable consequence of this is loneliness, that even though everyone experiences some people take the time and effort to pretend to keep someone close in order to avoid feeling completely abandoned when things aren’t going as they are supposed to.

That is why I always wonder about loneliness as I can largely experience it myself. I do not regret though what happened, what happens and what is going to happen as I never think twice about being who I am. I never think twice about choosing my reality over others and above all I never look back with regret.

It’s not hard to feel empty

Empty faces

Empty faces is all I see

Of people passing by

Eyes that I see and do not see back

It’s not hard

It’s not hard at all

To get lost in this

To get lost in this world with so many people around

With so many presences

And no-one that cares

It’s not hard at all

To feel empty

It’s not hard at all to feel

That your feelings like water

Was emptied to cure the thirst

Of other loves

It’s not hard at all

To try to reach out

With clothes

With ways that put you in a specific group

With meanings

You “only” understand

To try so hard to reach

To reach for everyone else

To show yourself

To try to be unique

To maybe have

To maybe find real friends

As I said

It’s not hard at all to see all this

And feel

The purposelessness of it all

This one and only chance

Where you come and go

And to wish for once

That all the pain was gone

That you were not alone

To go to bed with a happy face

To try to hug

And feel like someone’s hugging back

To sleep with your arm not wrapped around

Your pillow,

Your love