Memories

Memories

That’s all I have

Memories

That’s all I am

 

I always look back

And remember from the heart

The feelings I still have stored

For all that’s passed

For all that’s been lost

For all who were

For everything that was

A part of me

Memories for everything

Memories of warmth

Memories that hug

Memories that kiss

 

It’s memories you need

Memories of fights

Fights you won

    And the ones you lost

It’s memories I need

Memories to bring back

All that I am

To bring back my urge to fight

To believe in me again and strike

 

Memories to keep

Memories to update

For a life that shouldn’t stop

A life that always goes on

Memories to hold on to

Memories to feel right before the end

Because then

That would be all

That I would have got

Inside of me

Inside of me

 

Could you ever look inside of me and see

Could you ever look and understand?

If I could I would tear the flesh

Look behind my mask and see

The truth

My truth

A truth

 

The Truth of who I really am

The Truth of that which I truly fear

The Truth of not knowing who I am

The Truth of my actions

The actions that have left me be

…me

Truth

 

Have you ever caught yourselves

Staring at your hands?

Gently moving them in circles

And try to look inside

Inside the organ which helps you act.

The organ which allows you to feel

Feel the tenderness of touch

Feel the warmth

The organ which helps you write

The organ which pushes you back up

from the ground…

Up on your feet?

You wonder for the actions you did wrong

For the loneliness those hands have left you

And you look at them close

Too close to understand

Yet you can’t

You always manage to look through them

As a stupid illusion

You look through them

You look at a reality behind them

 

Your face in the mirror

Your expression

Your ways

You

 

It’s sad that not even you can understand

The face that you see

 

Not even you

 

Yet you keep on staring at your hand

Trying to understand

Why this miracle of organ

Has been so mean

Why has it forced you to be

All alone

In your (unique) philosophy of understanding

Once more

In the night

Wondering alone:

” why”

Sleep it off

In thoughts we dwell.

 

WE always sleep and wake up in the loneliness of our thoughts.

 

Nobody really knows who we are, nobody can really gets us, but us. You can study, and learn to understand human language, hidden meanings, human intentions etc, but no-one can really know. We are a mystery, mystery of thoughts that we don’t know the source of. We search for years and years to find the perfect partner one to accompany us to our journey, one to share one’s self with, a person really to open up, to listen to our loneliness. Yet nobody gets to know us in the end.

 

In a world of death really, as it’s the only one certainty there’s only one thing that someone doesn’t want to do. And that is to live and die alone. You need recognition, you need a touch of immortality, someone to share yourself, someone to remember you. Still we know it from our selfishness that we all wish that, we all want that, nobody really lives on in yourself and in the end life goes on.

 

In times like this when you are full of questions. Full of hate, you feel so empty. People cannot be saved. People cannot understand. Really we cant that’s why we seek refuge in the safeness of an unknown “higher” plan. Rejection of a reality, sleep it off and go on. And that’s what we all end up doing.

 

But it’s times like this, when we truly know who we really are. Incomplete, misunderstood, lost in our communication misunderstandings, we always play 2^nd role. Oh well. At least we all have times like this, we all feel threatened, we all feel lost. If it’s any comfort try to understand yourself. If you can and point out to yourself, your differences compared to your point of view of everyone else.

 

Sleep it off and it will be gone.

Thoughts kill.

The truth, but the happiness lies within lies

Evolution solves the main question raised by every man. How did life start and the fact is although scientists can not say with much certainty how did it all start from where did massive stars appear from nothing how was something created etc, they have found the way through the theory of evolution to explain how life came to be. With God absent with everything gone out of the picture, life could start if everything such as basic substances for example water, hydrogen and oxygen were biased in a young earth’s climate. I would not go into details but some very basic blocks of life could have initiated on their own by lightning effect and light effects and thus initiate the life on earth which would evolve to the point it is today. Not recently enough to be called recent, the theory of evolution has reached new levels and has explained that almost nothing has changed since those very days. What I mean is that the whole point that life exists on earth is so that the basic – final form of life’s building block, the DNA the genes are able to survive and live on.

Imagine that it’s not all about you as a person as a character as a human and an individual and it’s all about every single specific strand of DNA that you have in your body. Every single information that codes for something, every single information that makes you, builds you into what you are. The successful therefore genes that came from your ancestors to live in your body. It’s all about those genes. Genes don’t care whether you live or not, they have no feelings, they do not understand feelings they do not think, they just code for your brain, for some of your behaviors, for some of your feelings and most importantly for the way you look as well as some of your survival instincts and skills. Now if we think it in terms of Genes all that these genes want is to be passed on. Successful genes would be passed would find a way to reproduce and move on to the next generation, thus living forever. If on the other hand they are not successful the carrier dies before it reproduces or even if it reproduces it will reach a point where the genes die out. It’s a survival of the fittest a continuous evolutionary process but with only one goal the immortality of the genes of the genetic code. Now this happens at random, genes don’t think they just happen, they evolve to be humans, lions, tigers, ants, bees as an attempt to live forever. I will stretch that once again this did not happen instinctively and as a well thought decision. Genes just evolve that way in order to use more efficiently the resources on earth that once they became large in numbers were no longer available.

Now think for a second. What you are, who do you feel that you are and try to understand the basis of your nature. Human understanding, human communication, love affection, last for sex and all that stuff is coded in your genes. It’s coded in such a way that it’s almost unavoidable. We feel not like machines, like carriers of genes but so does every other animal. On the other hand we are different because although the genes code information for reasons we may be the first animal to live outside the gene. What I mean is that basic genetically coded needs such for the lust for sex, to have babies is used in our advantage to feel good, to enjoy ourselves and not just for reproduction. The need to find a partner for protection is used for company for talking for exchanging information. Although we have not coded in our genes the ability to make cars to make computers and all that we still live outside the box and make them.

But in reality our fate is tied with the successfulness of our genes. Nothing else matters and we are all in all machines programmed by our genes. Although we are not like a computer we have our Artificial Intelligence, we are still a component in the long journey that a gene makes in order to live for ever. And that is really who we are. But nonetheless our psychology tells us nothing about genes. We tend to look more into ourselves. We tend to try to understand ourselves. We’ve created wonders of the world, wonders such as human communication. Feelings that even if they are coded we find and feel amazing. We have learned even if we know our fate, even if we do not accept our fate, to live and make the best of it. We try to solve all the mysteries, find the answers to all the questions. We have moved way beyond our genes, in my point of view we are trying to be the building block of ourselves. We find truth in lies, in lies that we ignore as we don’t know or we avoid the learn the truth of. Lies such eternal love, motherhood, things that we think that makes us special but in reality is all coded in 23 pairs of chromosomes.

In reality what we feel, what we understand and think we see unique in us and different from all other animals is coded in our genes. Our feelings, our sense of soul etc. is all an illusion. They are all animal feelings, feelings just like every other animal has, different in nature and in expression but specific for the survival of it. What really makes us not animals is the understanding of the world, how we are made, the science and the explanations of our body and the universe which is continually growing. And still we go for the animal instincts. We prefer them and we trust them. I find nothing wrong in that, what’s a human without the need to please him/herself after all. Our philosophy though the explanation of the world from the point of view of a human is really opposite to science and although good to explain the world we live in through our eyes, it’s really not the truth, the truth hurts, has no feeling and no reason from a human’s point of view.

There are times I wish, I was just like every other animal

Ideas came from Mr Dawkins’ book.

Building block

The more you read

The more you’ll know

The more you’ll understand

The more you’ll despise what you are

 

The virtues and humanities you hold so dear

Your set of believes

Your ideals

Are not yours.

You’ve been tricked into believing

Tricked into not seeing

Tricked into being an obedient slave

A machine that gets to carry them away

 

From father down to son

Down to the son of son

Down passes my father’s strength

And his weakness leaves in my deathbed

 

That’s more or less what life is

No reason no humanities.

The strongest win the bet

And the weakest stay in forgotten rest

 

But in all I am

And all I feel

I still hope to hold my pair of believes

The ones I’ve developed

The ones that weren’t controlled

It’s not like my looks and height

My brain leads another path in life

And it takes more

To built who you really are

And more to understand

Where you’ve been and how you came to be

And in all reason still live

Although you know your fate

And the reason of your fate’s fate

And live on

And live to be

A father

A descendant

A dot in history

Influenced

In words I drowned

In meanings that I lost sense of

lost in this…

…world that I gave to you

this world I created

this world I despised

Because it was not mine

I have yet to find the meaning

yet to find the cause

still I took pieces of ideals

your ideals

and put them in my life

a life that I sacrificed

To create hate

hate for me

for who I am

for those close

(who are just few)

HATE

oh how I hoped I had more

And yet I am alone

Alone as I choose to be

Alone

As I left me be

Numero Uno

First post to a new blogg

I like this trend. I’ll follow it.
Looks like you have something to say you know when you really dont. And at the end of the day some ppl might get a chance to look at it.